Review: Overwhelmed
In last week’s blog, I mentioned that a goal I have for this year is more “me” time. I’ve recently finished the book Overwhelmed by Brigid Schulte, which has had a big impact on my outlook on this topic, so I wanted to talk about it in a little bit more detail.
“At night, I often wake in a panic about all the things I need to do or didn’t get done. I worry that I’ll face my death and realize that my life got lost in this frantic flotsam of daily stuff. Once, my sister Claire told me that when you smile, it releases some chemical in the brain and calms anxiety. I have tried smiling. At 4am. In bed. In the dark. It didn’t work.”
This.
It’s really easy to get lost in the constant list of the day and never stop and take time for you. To feel so positively overwhelmed that you want to go home and nap (been there, except I just kept working). The thing is, sometimes – most times, the right thing is the hard thing. Taking time for yourself instead of doing that one extra thing for your boss or your friend or your business…it’s hard to say no. In our world of constant interaction, it’s also hard to focus on the task at hand and instead, we end up half – or fifth – assing the five different things we’re trying to juggle instead of doing one well and moving onto the next. Brigid calls this “time confetti”, which sounds fun and playful – like you’re at a kids birthday party with games and balloons. Until you realize you are at that birthday party, you’re just at the point where you’re the kid who’s had too much sugar and is in that horrible outfit you didn’t want to wear, didn’t get to play with all the new toys or your friends or both, and are about to have a stage 5 meltdown in front of your parents, their friends, and all of creation.
Not so much fun anymore, is it?
The author brings point blank insights together with years of research from varying scientists around the globe together for our reading pleasure like this was a PBS special everyone can understand. She’s also really blunt about her personal experiences in this field because let’s face it – even adults can have meltdowns. What’s harder to deal with is the fact that we don’t rebound quite like the sugared kid at the party after a nap, who will have forgotten all about it at the next birthday party – and more importantly, so will his friends. Adult meltdowns are messy, disastrous things, or can be if you don’t know or aren’t paying attention to the warnings.
The good thing is that with some of the tips in this book, you should (hopefully) never hit a stage 5 level meltdown. Simply knowing what you need to focus on (hint: you), what you’re up against in terms of work experience, “the sludge”, bias (yes, men deal with it too), and family expectations (right or wrong) – you can kick that overwhelmed feeling in the teeth and rock on with your day. All of the pieces of your life are interconnected, and the author handles this in a masterful way that allows each part/subject to flow into the other.
Here are some other great quotes from this book:
“In the purest sense, leisure is not being slothful, idle, or frivolous. It is, in the words of leisure researcher Ben Hunnicutt, simply being open to the wonder and marvel of the present.”
“Research shows that forcing long hours, face time for the sake of face time, and late nights actually kills creativity and good thinking, and the ensuing stress, anxiety, and depression eat up health-care budgets.”
“The more grit, the more likely you are to follow a passion, persevere, and do the sometimes arduous work on your own to reach a goal. And the more you do that, research shows, the more likely you are to be happy.”
“Women say they’ll get to leisure when everything else is done.”
“Maybe it takes too much effort to be a little uncomfortable, to learn something new, and they don’t have the energy. But really, I think they’re afraid. They’re afraid of what having free time to themselves would feel like.”
“As adults, play is what keep sour brains flexible. And that, Brown says, is what enables our species to innovate, create, solve old problems in new ways, and continuously adapt our behavior to thrive in an ever-changing and often dangerous world.”
My 3 things
I’ve been trying to do some things to carve out more “me” time and prevent the laundry list of to-do’s from making me overwhelmed. Here’s the top three.
- Walk Madeleine more. I know she enjoys it, and it’s a nice time to clear my head while getting in some cardio.
- Color. Time to put those prismacolors from college back to use.
- Read more. I hope to find more books like this and make the reviews a recurring thing, sprinkling in some “just for fun” books in between. (speaking of, have you heard of the #ArchitectsTravelingLibrary?)
As you can imagine, I would highly recommend this book for anyone. Young professional or veteran, parent/spouse or non, working in an office or from home. It all applies. Pick it up, read it, and get your play on.
Until next time,
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