If your dreams don’t scare you they aren’t big enough

As an emerging professional still (relatively speaking) new to the AIA and licensure, it’s a daunting prospect to write this blog every week; to share my thoughts on any given topic knowing many others could talk on with greater ease and wisdom. But I do it anyway because knowledge sharing and growth are part of my why. I also do it because it’s fun to kick impostor syndrome in the teeth.

Impostor?

While not a new issue, impostor syndrome has recently found its way into more and more articles on leadership. The gist is: people are afraid to “come to the table” and share their thoughts for reasons x, y, or z. Surely they don’t know enough about the topic to speak confidently on the subject. Surely there’s someone else already out there talking about it. Surely [enter excuse here]. So you don’t say anything, you sit in the corner innocently hoarding your thoughts and knowledge on a subject because you fear others would see you as an impostor who didn’t know what they were talking about if you spoke up. (convo with girl from buffalo)

Here’s the thing.

Fear? It gets you nowhere but backwards or “dead”. Yes there’s that good fear that causes you to pause at noises in a dark alley or run from an animal or step into dangerous situations to protect loved ones. But the everyday fear that happens when you don’t speak up in a meeting, ask to go to a conference, or share something you learned from said conference? That’s the fear that cripples you professionally. That’s the fear that prevents you from growing (and thus “dying”). That’s the fear that keeps you in a bad job simply because it pays the bills. That’s the fear that prevents you from applying for a position or award…because surely there’s someone out there doing more than you who deserves it more than you.

I get it. I’ve been there. I constantly find myself there. It took me at least 3 months of self(and others)-convincing before I published the first of what would become the #AREsketches series. Know what it looked like?

1. Other people say they sketch their notes too. How is this different or worth sharing?
2. I’m no Dan Hogman. People will hate them or say they look stupid.
3. Ching already has visual study materials. I don’t want to step on his toes or come across as copying.

Yeah, I’m hellish on myself. But it’s also what keeps me pushing. It’s what keeps me constantly moving the bar further out in front of me. It’s what keeps me learning and bettering myself and sharing what I learn along the way. And because of all of those things, it’s what keeps me drop-kicking impostor syndrome, MMA-style. So over time, I found answers to those excuses.

1. Share what you know. Help others get licensed. Even if it only helps one person, it’s worth it.
2. Who cares about the haters. Haters gonna hate.
3. Ching’s not doing ARE material. No one is. Embrace it.

Embrace that scary dream

There’s a million versions of an Infographic/image about growth/goals/etc and it looks something like this:

It comes back to that same theory that the good stuff only comes from growth. And sometimes growth sucks. And it’s ALWAYS uncomfortable. And it’s most definitely always scary. But that’s where the good stuff lives. Actually, that’s where it thrives. Impostor syndrome is your own fear: of being wrong, of being vulnerable, of the unknown. Impostor syndrome is a bully on the playground. But here’s the thing about that bully: it has absolutely no bite. And when you stand up to it, you take some of its bark away. And when you stand up again, you take more and the bully called fear becomes smaller. The bigger piece is that if you’re standing up for the right reasons, you’re helping others and it makes the decision immensely easier to keep fighting for your scary dream.

Everybody loves the underdog. We inherently love seeing the bully lose, fear get demolished, and the good guy winning. We love seeing dreams come true. And as architects we love MAKING dreams come true, it’s inherent in our nature. We love making the magic and seeing the awe and gratitude in our clients’ eyes. We love seeing a mentee succeed. All of those things mean we have to embrace the suck, embrace the fear, and grow. Get uncomfortable. Kick impostor syndrome in the teeth with me.

Go make magic. Turns dreams into reality.